Just read the extra incredible, funny as fuck, Dan Savage column for this week in my fave local rag... "Now" (gotta give them some props here, great music section, if you are in this city looking for something to do, this is the paper to pick up and scour)
And of course, like every good citizen of this fine city, you pick up Now and immediately flip to one of two things. The music section or the inside back, Dan Savage's Savage Love column... ah yes, some great moments sitting at the pub having a laugh with friends over the letters to said funny fucker...
So, I being of camp 2, right to the smut, this is a quote from a letter today.
(click the link to see the whole thing)
First off, the letter makes me terribly sad.
I wish I could go and talk to that girl myself, we all have had that period of our lives when we feel ugly and unwanted. And this girl sounds so smart and sweet, and Dan is bang on in his reply...
Secondly, I want to know what advice you would give this girl?
Seriously, and men's opinions are welcome here too...
and oh, isn't that the funniest frickin' line ever? seriously, I spit my water across the room when I read that...assholes...alcohol...hahaha
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7 comments:
Wow! How horribly sad is that? I'm glad that he alluded to her getting therapy because she very clearly needs a self esteem booster shot. You know, we all have those moments when we feel unattractive and, in one of those moments, if someone stupid makes a stupid comment, it's devastating. How awful that this poor girl feels that way all of time.
It's also incredibly sad that she has 'friends' that she doesn't feel she can trust to be honest with her.
Advice for her? My basic fall in love with yourself stuff. Write down wonderful things about yourself and give gratitude for them every single day, several times a day. Look at yourself in the mirror, say "I love you," and mean it. Positive affirmations, surrounding herself with people who value her and love her.
She really does need a good counselor though before she does kill herself. Ugh. How horribly, horribly sad.
Oh my, our local paper only has stuff about how we don't recycle enough and people trying to sell second hand sofs'a !
We got nuttin like this !
Yes Lisaq, it is sad isn't it?
I really wish that we, at our 'matu...' fuck I can't even say it...but as more experienced women, could tell her about everything that she will go through, and tell her how little looks has to do with any of it in the long run.
I can't do positive affirmations. I laugh.
But then I feel better cause I am laughing...lol.
So I guess they work. :-)
auntiegwen...maybe you should start a column in it...maybe 'punk for rockers'...or maybe a sex advice column. that should wake up your wee town no? :P
(did you check out the adult classifieds? lol, they are the 3rd place people go in the paper)
Cheekie,
That was such a horribly sad letter, like Lisa said. I cannot imagine truly being ugly enough to have that amount of self-hatred, but if she does, she's also never been given very much love in her life, because her feelings of self-worth are non-existent. Being loved and found desirable by the opposite sex is a legitimate hunger. So is the pain at not being able to have that connection.
She didn't say what - if anything - interests her that she could pour her time and energy into. Having a passion/career/hobby as a distraction, maybe she could meet someone with similar interests, and her looks would be less important as the person got to know the real her, the inner part that truly is beautiful and loveable.
Surely if she exercises, and showers and dressed neatly, and smiles at people and makes eye contact, she can't be as ugly as she fears.
Maybe she's just hanging around mean people now that are reinforcing her own insecurities rather than being supportive of her.
I'd say go to self-esteem workshops and seminars, buy the self-esteem books in the bookstores, and gradually learn to acknowledge what is likeable and worthy about herself - irrespective of her looks.
I wish her the best of luck - she was brave to write the letter asking for help.
That is very sad. As lame as it sounds, the truth is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And that we are beautiful because of WHO we are not what we look like. I'm going to venture to say that I'm sure her young age doesn't help; she doesn't have the years of experience or the experiences themselves to grow and mature and learn to accept herself just the way she is. People who are judging her are not worthy of her time.
I'm with Lisa - she needs to tell herself positive affirmations about all the wonderful qualities she does have. EVERY DAY.
Cheekie,
Blogrolling hasn't shown you as updated for 8 months now... So it looks like you haven't posted recently.
Now I know you have, because I come to your blog address itself, but... if anyone else is just going to the new 'links' thing that blogger has, you aren't showing up since that long long ago post...
Just a F.Y.I.
I always have to manually do a 'blogrolling' ping to keep people aware I've updated :)
wrong there... My computer geek friend said your blog isn't showing as updated on blogrolling because you don't have a feed...
Hmmm.
Hope you are having a good week, Cheekie !
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