You say it's your birthday....

Yup. It is! Another year, older but sure as heck not wiser.

I tend to get a little emotional on my birthday. You know, nostalgic, introspective.
Think about where I am, what I've done, where I'm going. And who might come along
for the ride.

Getting to the age now where I pretty much know what and who I am.
The details are still a bit blurry, but, I am starting to realise that I am
not going to change much, so I had better start accepting who I am.
I may not think or act like many other people I know, but at least I am
unique. Just like everyone else.

I have to stop apologising for it. Stop trying to cover it up.
Stop listening to people who tell me I need to change.
Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Yes, I say too much, talk too much, divulge too much.
But, it is who I am. I never ever divulge the super personal stuff.

No one really knows how or what I am thinking, deep down.
To me, all the stuff I write about is pretty surface stuff...the really
intense thoughts stay pretty buried.

If I didn't get it out, I would explode!
I am intense, overly analytical, emotional...and extremely sensitive.
I am also tough and can be harsh.

I have made many mistakes, said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing.
Well, maybe not wrong, but it certainly hasn't gotten me anywhere.

So, do I stop being me? Just so that I can get it right??
Sure, I should probably stop with the drunken texts and emails...lol.
I tend to get very emotional and must communicate that when I have had
a few.

So apologies to all you victims of it.
I live according to my emotions and whatever I feel at that moment in
time MUST be out poured. Maybe it's wrong, maybe it makes people
really uncomfortable.
But at least you know what I am feeling.
There is no hiding behind anything with me.

Isn't that a good thing????
I think so.

So my goal for this year is to accept that.
Know that even though there are people who don't
understand that, and run away from my intensity, there
will be those who do get me.

And hopefully, this will be the year when that very special one
that not only gets it, but loves me for me will make himself known.

God knows, I have waited long enough!

So Happy Birthday to ME!