I read this post by NML of the most excellent baggage-reclaim site
and the whole darn thing has me very perplexed.
why?
because it is so true, and it affects us, as women, often.
very very very very often.
it jabs right down into our very 'essence'.
we question ourselves for our man's lack of ability to commit to us, and then commit to someone else. it makes us wonder about our ability to nurture. the very thing we are told we are made to do. is their new love better at it all?
are they a better lover/cook/girlfriend
are they more understanding/patient/sexy
do his parents like HER better? his friends? colleagues?
what was so wrong with us when we gave them everything?
nothing. right?
absolutely fucking nothing.
do I know why these guys drop us claiming inability to commit only to pick up and hook up with someone else shortly thereafter? fuck no. wish I did...
I am pretty sure that it has happened to most of you out there (male and female, far be it from me to discriminate).
does or did it make you feel inferior or damaged in any way shape or form?
did it make you question your abilities to have and keep a partner?
especially when someone obviously so deficient in 'commitment' goes on to have exactly what you wanted with them, but with someone else. it hurts. a lot.
In case you haven't noticed, either I pick the wrong guys, or they pick me. that is up for debate. (later later...)
After reading another one of NML's posts about that very subject regarding our (the royal female 'we') projecting OUR unavailability.
seriously. are our fears of commitment and failing causing us to pick the wrong guys?
are our shortcomings and inability to deal with them making us pick relationships that are going to mess us up more, and be able to blame the guy instead of just dealing with our own shit?
when will we take accountability for just being the dumbasses that we can be sometimes by choosing guys that we KNOW are bad for us.
yes yes, I know, he kisses like he means it, he fucks like he means it...he looooooovvveeees you. right.
if he loved you (or me) so much, then why is he with someone else right now???
no, the world isn't that black and white sometimes, but frankly, love can be.
and until we start raising the bar for ourselves, and realizing that mistakes get made(move the hell on)...and to just hope to hell that each failure means we are that much closer to finding the one.
if there is the one. oh shit, I just did it again didn't I...sorry sorry, I will stop being sooooo jaded.
of course there is the ONE. yippee!! I can't WAIT to find him!!! *hearts, hugs, cheesey emoticons*
ya, I just threw up a little in my mouth too...
Monday, November 26, 2007
Bastards into Perfect Partners....
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1 comment:
I'll lay it down straight. It's evolution, plane and simple. We had to adapt, learn multiple job skills (beyond the homestead) so we got smarter, heartier, stronger. We can do what they do, but of course better, more often than not.
Men also had to adapt, so they stopped holding doors, acclimated to the 50/50 personna (ok, 10/90)... they stepped back and made way for us to "Do it all" and now that we have surpassed them, spiritually, intellectually, professionally, emotionally, etc... well the truth is, we've evolved beyond them. So no matter how good 'he' is, he'll never be good enough.
Which concludes, that they will leave us to have committed relationships with women who haven't evolved quite as quickly, although, I'm sure they are all (nearly) fabulous creatures.
But for those of us who are strong, determined and bold... well our choices are (seamingly) Cougarism, celebicy (which I never understood and is the reason I can't spell it;), or lesbianism... unless of course you're a glutten for punishment, in which case, let the bashing continue... I'm soaking it up:)
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