Gotta Have Control....

There are two different types of control freaks, especially when it comes to personal relationships.

The first is the type that needs to control everything in order to keep from losing it. They must have everything in front of them, know it, know where it is, push it pull it touch it feel it smell it hover over it and watch it, just in case it tries to go away. If it tries to go away, it pulls it closer so it can’t leave as easily, if at all.

The second is the type that controls everything to the extent that it pushes everything to a safe arms distance away. If they have it too close, they might lose it and only have themselves to blame, so it is easier to control things to such and extent that they never let anything come too close. Close equals pain. The further something is, the easier it is to walk away if it starts to hurt too much. They can’t handle the blame or accountability, it hurts too much to try and fail.

Both are insecure, both are afraid of losing things. But the first is afraid of losing everything and the second is afraid of having everything.

The first is women in most cases the second is men.
Men have to appear to never feel it, never get too close to it, never really know it.
Women must have control over it, so it doesn’t have control over them, so that they can be sure that no one will abandon them,
Actually in both cases, they are afraid of being abandoned.
Left, brokenhearted and not had any control over it.

But that is what great relationships are all about, neither needing to have control, because you know that it is only when you are afraid of something in the relationship or yourself that you must have control over it.

The fear of being abandoned is firmly ingrained in a lot of us.
I won’t get into the psychology of it; I am definitely NOT qualified for that.
But suffice to say, I believe that we are all so terrified of so many things these days.
Mostly ourselves. We distrust our own feelings and judgment to the point that we can never be too sure. Constantly testing, constantly attempting to control our situations.

What can be done about this? Who bloody knows?