green and red eyed holiday themed monster

ah yes, jealousy.
ugly, insecure, pathetic, passionate, regretful jealousy.

you and i have been so called 'pals' for quite awhile now.
and frankly, i'm just not that into you, anymore.

oh sure, at first you were kinda cute, sexy even. getting all riled up
and wrinkling your nose like that, fire in your eyes.

but now, well darlin' you are just plain ugly.

how you ever got into my life in the first place i can't quite recall.
probably around the same time as my first training bra, yes i know it's because my friend's was a bigger one. bitch. and then there was that time that he said he liked me and then asked HER to the dance. slut.

oh but remember that time that we threw the phone across the room and broke it? ya, good times.

my fave has to be this last one though. he had to go and have a pint with HER didn't he. had to get all tipsy and reminisce with her, didn't he. even though he came back to me, told me everything, he still even thought of another person. how dare he. so what if he has known her for 8 years. so what if they had been through a lot together. so what if she is with someone in a ltr now. you and i know the truth right jealousy?

yep. we have it all sorted out.
they are all lying, cheating bastards and we had better call them on it before they break our hearts. and while we are at it, maybe we should continue to make a fool out of ourselves - you know - just to ensure that he thinks we are completely insane. that is always a good chuckle.

ah, j, such a laugh with you.
but i think it's time to move on.

you see, i don't need you in my life anymore. i have enough to worry about, that is tangible, than whether or not some guy i care about has actually spoken to someone else that he cares about. i know he cares about me, so, you have to stop trying to convince me otherwise.

you are no good for me, j, our time has run it's course.
i'm a big girl now, and it isn't cute anymore.

don't be sad though, i know lots of other people who would welcome you with open arms, i know you will never be alone. as long as people put their hearts in the hands of others, there will be insecurity and doubt. as long as we continue to put ourselves on the line for love, you will have a place to rear your ugly head. besides, if it weren't for you we wouldn't have this misconception about love, passion and romance. that says something about your power doesn't it?

don't worry j, i haven't found another neuroses to move in.
i'm full up.

it's not you, it's me.


xoxo
cheekie