More thinking, ya, as if that was possible, about why I tend to get myself so riled up.
So upset, so spun, just sooooo...well, distrusting, of myself and perhaps others.
I think this latest thing to happen in my life is a prime example.
I am repeating the same lessons until I actually learn something from it.
Instant Karma thing...
Fact of the matter is, no matter what negative things I read, hear or see and no matter what positive things I read, hear or see, well, I am the only one who has to live with me.
And my decisions, and my reactions.
There are many out there who would call me a fool (for many many reasons...lol). There are many who consider me tough (not quite sure why, but hey, it's what I am putting out there so my bad for making it so).
Basically there is an opinion to corroborate whatever line of thinking you choose. And whatever mood you are in.
The internet, Google, you can search ANYTHING.
Have a wart? OMG it might be cancer.
Have a bf who doesn't call? OMG he is fucking around.
Mother torments you? OMG you have to tell her off.
You understand my drift here?
But, your mood, your thoughts, your actions, are only yours.
We ALL have doubts occasionally.
WE ALL need people around us that we can go to for a good vent, or to remind us of why we chose the path we did.
But WE ALL need to just stop, and believe.
BELIEVE in yourself. Your gut.
There is no right answer. There is no wrong answer.
There is only YOUR answer.
Make your decisions, based on your knowledge of right and wrong and just and fair.
Then live with them, embrace them, stick to them.
Integrity, loyality and trust are so so rare these days.
Everyone seems to want to be a cynic. They want to tell you you are fucking up. I am not sure why, why some people get this joy out of always assuming the worst of you. Of your decisions. But seriously, if you are the type of person who likes to rain on other people's parades, might I just say 'Shut the FUCK up'.
It is hard enough these days to make a decision and stick to it, we are all so damn insecure, we really don't need friends making us feel more so.
So try to shut out the negativity.
Just because you are a pessimist it doesn't make it any more real than optimism. It's a 50/50.
Of course pessimists call themselves 'realists'...holy crap is that ever bullfuckingshit.
It's just as real that things could go well.
They could go badly, of course, but telling someone that will pretty much make it so.
Manifest destiny and all.
So, be kind, be there, be nice.
BUT.
Keep your crap to yourself.
I have enough of my own crap to deal with...tyvm.
Remember...if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all, asshole.
(sorry for the potty mouth tonight, but I just felt like gettin' my curse on...)
xo
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5 comments:
You are absolutely right. Way to often we second guess our own though process, decisions, instincts. We need to trust ourselves more and listen to criticism less. And when we do make mistakes - forgive ourselves.
p.s. I linked your blog to my blog, I hope that's not a problem, I've enjoyed your writing.
Thanks Craze! Yes, it is really hard sometimes to believe, mainly in yourself, and more often than not, others.
We tend to believe the bad things, and never the good.
Which is a shame, because call me naive, but I think we could all use to believe a little better, put more faith in ourselves, and trust others..
It's hard, especially when then pain of that broken trust in the past comes back to haunt you.
Once bitten, twice shy...or in my case, bite marks everywhere...
xo
(and of course it isn't a prob! I am returning the favour! cheers!)
You got it girl! I even had "Believe" tattooed on my body to remind me to believe in myself. My mother is the ultimate pessimist/fatalist. I've finally gotten where I can tell her to keep her damn negativity to herself, but it took a long time to get there.
Your rain on my parade line reminds me of a line from one of the Law & Order shows a few years ago. "I don't want to rain on your parade. I want to blow up the floats." Leave my damn floats alone people and let me enjoy them for cryin' out loud!
Ya dammit! I like my floats! With bubble machines, and maybe a nice confetti cannon or two...
Hell, why not?
I think most people want to either be able to say 'I told you so' or 'See, you shouldn't be so naive'...just so it justifies their jadedness. However, when you are right, and things do work, do you ever notice how they always give you that attitude, or look, like 'ya, well she should just WAIT, it won't last'...
You can never ever please the nay sayers, ever.
The positive people in your life will try to make you feel better when you are troubled, help you see a rational (not pessimistic side-perhaps just another angle) viewpoint...But they will always tell you that you are worthy, that there isn't anything WRONG with you, that maybe the situation wasn't ideal. And to learn the lessons.
I had a very dear friend tell me recently that I was basically 'easy' , and it hurt, mainly because it isn't true and this person doesn't really know the situation. The negative always THINK they know.
Their experience isn't YOUR experience, their feelings aren't YOUR feelings.
Same with the positive people of course, but at least they don't make you feel like shit.
I say NO MORE SHIT!
xo
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