The Blame Game

Howdy all,

Been a busy little camper this past week or so...so much to blog, so little time...

So an update on the 30 days of Drama series over at Baggage Reclaim...doing some guest posting as you may or may not know.

The latest one I rant about is blame and how it causes/effects relationships especially in the area of self perpetuated drama. Go check it out! 

(and check out the rest of the amazing posts there, great discussions going on!)

On another note, I have been doing a lot of thinking about a few things since reading the book

"Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert (ya, I know, I may be the last person in the world to read it, I usually wait till the feeding frenzy fad stops then get go for it).

Now, first off, I did enjoy the book. A lot.

At some points it really resonated with me. I have been through pretty much everything she has. So, reading her reactions to said issues really affected me in a way I can't explain.

I too have sat on that bathroom floor crying and wondering 'wtf? why?'....

That being said, I have to say that the ending didn't help me in the way the rest of the book did.

Yes, it  is the truth and her real story, but for me it left me wondering about the real way it turns out for the majority of us.

Do we all wish for that light at the end of the tunnel? (damn effin' straight)

Do we all hope that all of our struggles and pain pay off in the end? (oh hell ya)

Is the only thing that keeps us going the thought that one day, someday, we too can be happy, content, and find love? (more than anything)

But plain old fact of the matter is, there is sometimes NO payoff.

NO reward.

And in our reward based society, where we are told 'Work hard, keep your chin up, and everything will fall into place', what happens when it doesn't?

What happens when you do go through the philosophical drama, the identity crisis, the depression, the failed relationships, the hard hard times and there is nothing but status quo at the end?

Well, you end up feeling like you have done something wrong.

That you have plain and simply fucked it all right up.

We, in North America (and indeed most of the Capitalist world) co-opt the theory of Karma.

We take it to mean that if you DO work hard, DO struggle, DO sacrifice, DO comprimise, you will be paid off in the reward of contentment, happiness and the satisfaction of a 'job well done'.

This applies to our personal growth as well, you put in the work, you reap the rewards.

This isn't the true definition of Karma, which takes lifetimes to 'pay off', not just one lifetime of the proper investment portfolio, charity work, nice house, kids, nice car and neighbourhood bbq's. It starts early, in school, we do well - we get a star! OOHHH! Or maybe even applause! I want applause! Where's my damn applause!!!

Is it really that simple? Or should I say clear cut, because most people, dare I say the majority of people, never reach the ultimate goal of contentment.

We are always striving for that inner peace, and for most of us, it never comes.

To those of you that have reached that goal, BRAVA!, I salute you.

But really, how many? Are we talking 15% of the population? Doubtful. 10%? Maybe, tops.

So, I am no math whiz, but that means a whopping 90% of us are still searching for the Holy Grail of Happy.

We were told we would get a reward, now where the hell is it?

Well then we must be doing something wrong cause damn this is taking a long time!

We are doing something wrong.

We are EXPECTING that reward.

We feel it is DUE to us somehow.

'I've played by the rules' you say 'Why isn't it getting easier?' you wonder.

There is no reward kids.

You shouldn't have to sacrifice to be happy, you shouldn't have to toil and watch your life go into the perfect RRSP to find contentment.

Life is one big gold star.

We get to be here. We, unlike the rest of the various species that share our earth, get to enjoy the ride with some of the best, most enjoyable distractions ever created.

And why do we have these distractions?

Because somewhere, deep in the work-weary recesses of our minds, we know this.

We know it is the ride of our lifetime that is the pay off.

So, go get your applause.

Buy and consume, people and things.

But at the end of the day, we do all go out the way we came in - equal and starkers without teeth.

So, stop watching other peoples lives on tv and read a bloody book, travel, laugh, eat KD out of the pot like a 10 yr old, do ridiculous, silly things that people think you're nuts to do.

Live YOUR life. No apologies, no applause, no gold stars.

Just enjoy.

xo

Cheekie