Stalking...and not in the good way

A friend asked me recently if I have ever had the unfortunate experience of being stalked.

Yes, I replied, both cyber and old school.

I also know many women (and some guys) who have had the same experience.

It isn't pretty.

It is damn scary, uncontrollable and unfortunately inevitable as a sometimes 'overly friendly' woman.

So, I thought I would post some of my strategies for getting out of, and avoiding (based on my mistakes) this issue in the first place.

***Remember-if it goes too far and your personal being is threatened- CALL THE POLICE***

ok, disclaimer down, now on to my post:

Cyber:

-NEVER use your real name (especially last) when online dating, set up a separate email account using this made up name, and for the love of god, don't make it slutty, you are just asking for the WRONG kind of attention (I used a cute handle, or my middle name, after about a week or so of chatting then my first name ONLY)

- NEVER give out your home number, ever ever ever

-NEVER give out your address or even the area you live in, city is fine, but keep it vague

-NEVER have someone you have never met come to your place to pick you up, meet them somewhere well lit, crowded and tell at least one friend where you are (ask them to call half way through the date-corny old school trick but it works)

-NEVER let them drive you home, take a cab, if you don't want to offend them - stop worrying, if they care they will appreciate your respecting yourself, and not only that but you can laugh about it on your wedding day if all goes well (even better is have your safety friend pick you up)

-NEVER chat via msn or dating sites with someone who refuses to show you a pic, especially after you request it many times (trust me on this one)

-NEVER tell them where you work, or even your official job title and industry, it is surprisingly easy to find people these days, too easy...way way too easy

Please use some judgement here, and as women we have a bad habit of trusting too much because we don't want to appear bitchy. Screw that.

Our safety is number one. In the end, if he is a good guy he will respect this, and frankly how could he not? If he gives you the gears for this, tell him that you don't want to seem untrusting, however, you need to get to know him first. If he still gives you a hard time, tell him to piss off.

TCB baby TCB

Reality:

-CALL the police if he appears at your door unannounced

-CALL the police if he threatens you in anyway, this includes any kind of 'sexual' games

-CALL a friend to come over and stay with you if you are getting really concerned. Have them answer your phone and door.

-BORROW a friends big dog, or little yappy one. Seriously. It works. Keep the pooch for a week or two...

-NEVER open the door, like vampires, pricks can only come into your life if you let them

BLOCK all msn with them, BLOCK their emails (save any incriminating ones), BLOCK their phone number or ignore it completely. DO NOT let these guys 'guilt' you into talking to them with their plaintive messages.

They are just trying to get a reaction, a crack in the door, an inch for the mile.

Please don't fall for it.

We can still be nice, but trust your gut ladies, it always knows.

ALWAYS. If you are unsure about your 'gut' then talk to a trusted, smarter than you, friend.

They will set you straight. Attention is great, it makes us all feel fantastic, but this is not good attention. AT ALL.

Don't take chances, it is a huge ordeal to get out of these situations and who needs that?

You will feel beaten and used and guilty for ages for letting someone like this into your life to begin with. Honestly. Do you need to feel paranoid??? 

And for the love of all that is holy and good, STOP FLIRTING with questionable guys.

Cyber sex talk is fun n all, but it can get carried away really quickly, and don't tease the bears, a'ight?

C'mon! 

Your Safety Girl, (kinda like Gossip Girl, but not as much fun)

Cheekie xoxo