Addendum...

Big word huh?
Ya, I know a couple. Although I seem to forget them all when playing Scrabble.
Just like having the perfect come back for some smart ass remark that was made to you...6 hours later...while you are trying to fall asleep...or is that just me??? doubt it. I'm unique, but not that unique.


About the last post.
That is one of the older ones in my stash o' posts...
Time has made a difference and I thought I would follow up just to prove that.

Things have changed drastically in my mind and little world.
Some of those things still haunt me, but as little benign vapours, not great big rattley skeletons anymore.
Hopefully, they will take their rightful place on the haunted walking tour of Cheekie's mind some day soon...

I feel more sussed out, more ready for a relationship and definitely not freaked out by the opposite sex anymore.
They are not purposely out to hurt me or mess me up. It is just the way it goes sometimes.

I have had the recent luck of meeting someone, although it didn't work out, he is a great guy and very sweet.
The best thing that happened in a long time for me, but (and here comes the BUT)...it taught me a few things...big things.

I will no longer try to make someone want to be with me, nor will I beat myself up when they don't.
Getting the old 'it's not you, it's me' excuse does that. No matter what their issues are, it is still that excuse.

I can't save, fix, nurture, pander to, cajole, manipulate or desire someone who isn't 99% sure that they want to at least try.
Nope. No can do. Not bloody likely...

Do I wish things had turned out differently? Hell ya.
Can I do a single damn thing about it? Hell no.
Am I gonna try to force it? Fuck no.

Knowing what you don't want is almost more important than knowing what you do.
And I know I don't want anyone ever again who doesn't want me.

So, time has definitely helped with that. A year ago, I was in a totally different place.
Confused, insecure, bitter, sad. Still am a bit, but, I have hope now.
Time gave me hope.